Chorfaa
Establishing Your Personal Boundaries
As we race through life, it is very easy to find ourselves going from one obligation to another. It is normal for us to juggle multiple critical responsibilities at one time, including the combination of studying, working, raising children, caring for a loved one and volunteering. Of course, these combinations change somewhat with each life passage. However, in all cases, when we try to juggle too much and get sucked into doing too many things for others, we face a loss of stability and control over our lives.
During my last years of work before retiring, I found that with each day more and more demands were being assigned to me. My boss’s favorite line was, “you can handle it.” And, because I wanted to please and enjoyed receiving praises for a job well done, I kept taking on more and more responsibilities until I didn’t have enough hours in the day to do what I needed to do well. I found myself being pulled into too many directions. Overall, I was compromising my confidence, value, and self-respect by not establishing better personal boundaries.
Even as older adults, you can suddenly find yourself serving as the primary caregiver to a spouse, disabled child, grandchildren, or older parents. As caregivers, you may have so much empathy for your loved ones that you find yourself doing everything for them and ultimately crippling your own well-being. This can also happen when volunteering. More than not, it can become easy to let your passion and commitment to a special cause divert you away from maintaining a healthy, well-balanced life for yourself.